A Line in the Sand

As accountants we are fortunate to celebrate the new year not once, but twice a year.  On Friday we  finished each conversation with “Happy New Financial Year” and when speaking with other accountants we were all equally as enthusiastic in our wishes, but also keen to see an end to this financial year.  It has been a tough one, and other accountants agree that for some reason 2018-19 was particularly “taxing” for accountants.  Oh, we are a funny (and nerdy) bunch of people!

Having two New Year’s each year means that I get a second chance to do all the things I had planned to do in January but didn’t get around to doing.  Life sometimes gets in the way of a good plan.  1 July gives us the opportunity to assess what we did wrong in the last year and make those mid-year adjustments.  Personally, I am not a fan of resolutions but I do like to draw a line in the sand and not look back.  1 July really is my line in the sand.

Before we get to 1 July I am going to write down all the things I didn’t achieve this year so I can let them go. 

1.        I did not lose weight.  I am so full of excuses as to why I didn’t lose weight but the simple fact is I ate too much and I let my exercise slip back just a little.  I did enjoy some really good food and wine and can honestly say that all of those calories were consumed with enjoyment.  I tried gluten free, dairy free, sugar free and alcohol free but in the end I decided life is way too short to restrict myself when food is an enjoyable part of my life.  

This year I am going to just make the best choice at the time, own my choice, enjoy my choice and not beat myself up about it.  I am 50 for goodness sake.  I am never going to be a size 10 again.

 2.       As hard as I tried I did not meditate every day, nor did I exercise every day. I did not write in my journal every day and some days were completely lacking any sort of plan.  I simply did not have time.  OK, sometimes I chose to squeeze in an episode of the Billions, Suits, The Good Wife or the The Good Fight instead of the “good” things I should have been doing, but that was purely for educational reasons.  I learn a lot from watching these dramas!

This year I will probably do exactly the same.  I will start the day with the best intentions and if I don’t meet my targets I will not beat myself up.  I will recognise that sometimes the “me” time I need can be achieved by tuning out while watching a favourite show.

 3.       I set out to be a person who was always upbeat and positive, but I really didn’t achieve that.  I was not always the nicest person to my family and friends.  Sometimes I felt like crap and didn’t feel like making dinner, cleaning the house or solving everyone’s problems.  Sometimes I exploded a little at work which was very unprofessional.  Sometimes I completely lost my cool with my husband undeservedly.  Sometimes it is easiest to take it out on the ones you love.

I will no doubt have bad days when the anxiety of running a business and having so many people rely on you becomes overwhelming.  I know this year was particularly tough for me for many personal reasons, and I am incredibly grateful that I can put these things behind me now.  Rod, seriously, thank you for supporting me through this difficult year. I know you have tried to change yourself as well and I think we have grown closer as a couple this year.  In the new year I will try to recognise I am who I am, flaws and all and that it is natural to have bad days.

 I have this out of my system now.  I am really looking forward to the opportunities the new year holds.  We have worked so hard to grow our business and I think this year is going to be the year we finally see some rewards for it.  We are taking on 3 new team members in July and hopefully that will free up some time so that I can write, meditate, exercise and challenge myself professionally.  I know it is going to be tough.  I know there will be more tears and tantrums.  Bring it on.  I am ready.

 Tonight I will have a quiet drink to farewell 2018-19 and tomorrow I will draw that line in the sand, embrace the present and not look back.

 Happy New Financial Year everyone.